Etcetera Article: From the Editor - October 2011

Sally wears a dress by muse from Browns of Remuera.
Photographed by Jane Ussher; hair by Michael Kent; make-up by Kaitlin Chapman

Men need their own space. It�s in their DNA. That�s the message from Steve Hale, author of a new book on Kiwi man caves.

Steve � who we interview in this issue � found male bolt-holes springing up in homes all over the country, including a shed lined with dozens of deer, onyx and water buffalo heads and a maimai that�s taken five men 15 years to perfect.

Now Steve is a blokey sort of bloke, of solid build and beer-drinking habit. He is not the sort of person I would choose to argue with. Just look at his picture on page 178 of the magazine.

But it did occur to me, when I read his book, that maybe he was being presumptuous about this being a man-only thing. Who is Steve to say that women, too, don�t have a genetic urge to create designer bolt-holes where they can bond with their friends?

By way of research I asked six people in the office, �Have you got a space at home that is yours?� Here�s (more or less) what they said:
Females: �Ahhh� not really. Maybe the chair in the end room?�
Males: �You bet.� (A long impassioned description followed, with mutterings about deer heads and beer fridges.)

The evidence was unequivocal. I talked to a few women friends (a final, clinching bit of research) about why this difference between the sexes exists. We came up with three reasons. Women, we decided, just don�t need to escape to the shed to share their thoughts with their mates. They will share anywhere � leaning on the kitchen bench with a coffee, for example. Second, women�s hobbies are often of the indoor variety that don�t require skilsaws or fume hoods and, third, women tend to like being connected to what is going on in the wider home rather than escaping from it.

I particularly relate to this last bit. If there�s a place in our home that is particularly mine, it�s smack bang in the middle of the kitchen, cooking up a storm with all my utensils and a cool chardonnay at hand. I�m doing something I enjoy, but I�m still at the nerve centre of the family. Wild horses wouldn�t drag me away to a shed at the bottom of the garden.

In the interests of scientific accuracy I do have to say I know a few women (mostly those with big hobbies) who say they need a cave. One has a studio with a huge work table and cabinets full of materials for quilting, box-making, sewing and jewellery-making. �It�s my space and I love it.� I also know a few men who say they don�t need a cave.

Exceptions aside though, there�s little doubt that Kiwi men do seem to have a more ingrained need for their own caves than women do. In conclusion, I agree with Steve entirely. Which is quite a relief.